Expecting Responses

Dear Friends,

Don’t know about you, but I often find myself in somewhat awkward group situations. I’m a bit of an introvert, and when you put a bunch of introverts in a room together you often get the same effect that letting the clutch out on a car gives you – whiplash followed by a stall. Tired introverts are worse.

That was the situation that I found myself in this weekend. I spent the day snowtubing with some people I just met. Every time I tried to start a conversation I felt like I was met with resistance. I felt like I was pushing a rock uphill. By dinner, I was exhausted and finished with conversation. I gave up. After all, they weren’t responding to me and I was out of questions. I wasn’t getting the desired response.

I was talking to the Father about what happened – how I could do better, why I checked out. He reminded me about how Jesus had welcomed kids, and what it’s like to be around kids. We don’t have expectations for them. We don’t hold a three-year-old (or even a six-year-old) to some sort of standard for conversation. One minute you could be talking about what they did at school and the next you’re pretending to be kittens. Expectation pretty much gets thrown out the window. The point of being with kids is to be with kids.

So why is it that I hold adults to an unspoken standard of interaction? Why can’t the point of being with adults be being with adults?

I think the Father looks at things this way: we’ve been adopted as members in His family, and so we’re all His kids. He doesn’t spend time with us because of our responses. He spends time with us in spite of our responses because we are His kids and He loves being with us.

I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t question an adult that’s pretending to be a kitten (unless, of course, they are being a kitten with a kid). What I am asking is why you are spending time with people? Are you requiring them to respond to you a certain way? Have the right social norms? Laugh at your jokes?

Become a supporter?

Do you check out when they don’t jump through your invisible flaming hoop?

Or are you interested in them as a person? Are you with them in order to share each other’s dreams? Are you looking for ways to release them instead of harness them? To partner with them to bring about the dreams of God?

The Father loves His children. I think He’s incredibly pleased when we approach His kids on their terms, without expectation, and full of love.

Yours,

Josh